What to do if youre starting to resent every little thing your partner does [Video]

If you’re in a long-term relationship, your significant other is probably going to bug the hell out of you from time to time.

It’s completely normal—healthy, even, research suggests—to get annoyed or angry at your partner, especially if you live together or hang out a ton. I’m no exception: I recently snapped at my husband over our broken bed. It happens!

For some people, however, those one-off mild (or even intense!) irritations can snowball. Left unaddressed, you can grow to straight-up resent your partner and end up scoffing at every teeny tiny thing they do. Fortunately, even though it sucks to feel this way, it’s not a surefire sign that your relationship is doomed.

“Don’t feel like, I’m annoyed so my relationship is over,” Anabel Basulto, MFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist at Kaiser Permanente in San Leandro, California, tells SELF. “You’re irritated for a reason and you need to …